Saturday, September 11, 2010

Seven Shades of Love: 1. Illuminated Heart

I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting in that dark corner feeling so tired. I know I’m stuck. I don’t know how to go home and most of all I can’t think if I still have one. I was terrified, busted into pieces and directionless but I still have a diminutive strength of moving so I to convince my muscle to stand up. I stuck in darkness trying to find myself out when a few flicker of light reach my cold body. It started to grow bigger which bring warm to my frizzy heart. Someone’s holding it. Someone’s illuminating my heart and looking for a home and found my heart as his refuge. Nope! It is me who found his heart as my sanctuary.
Seven Shades of Love

The most prominent topic that people like to talk is “love”. Even if the story is poignant or blissful we still manage to listen to someone’s story for the reason that it sound exciting and erudite. Since I am very interesting about the topic let me share the up and down part of a relationship and the dark and bright side of it thru poems and essays that I made during my 3 years relationship with my Soulwarmer. Come and discover our Seven Shades of Loves.
1. Illuminated Heart
2. I Hate Blues Clue

3. The White Cradle of Peace
4. The Glimpse of the Bluish Cloud
5. Red Stop Light

6. Flown by the Purple Waves
7. Taken Home because of the Yellow Sunrise

Friday, September 10, 2010

fickleinpink, the dark side: 30 days of Truth -- Day Four (4/30)

scjcircleofthoughts: signs (4/30)

fickleinpink, the dark side: 30 days of Truth -- Day Four (4/30)

fickleinpink, the dark side: 30 days of Truth -- Day Four (4/30)

anime here we go

I am now with my niece and nephew waiting in the airport for the arrival of my nephew. Thank God I got a chance to write for my blog of the day. Since I can’t think of a good idea may be I will share the lines that I really love from the anime that I watched. I love watching anime even though I’m now old. Yeah! I hate to think that I’m old now. I love being young just like before because I’m carefree. I don’t have to think I just dothings that I want to do. Anyways let’s get back to my topic, this line really struck me.
“ Kaya kong gawing possible ang imposible” in English it’s sounds like I can make impossible things possible. I’m not good in translation.Lol. It is from the Gandam Wing Destiny. I was touch when a man sacrifices his life for the one he loves.
“Hihintayin ko ang tamang oras na itatakda ng panahon para sa ating muling pagkikita”, it sound like this in English “I will be waiting for the right time that we will see each other again. It is the story about the pnguin actually I don’t know what creature he is. But he fall in love with his opponent which is a mermaid. They can’t be together and the girl said it before she left. That was from pichi pichi pitch.
“Ang tunay na hari ay ang mga kabataan” or the true king is the youth not the leader. It is from Naruto. Love that anime so much because it’s all about friendship. How many people nowadays betrayed their friend for their self satisfaction?
Sometimes we think that what we watch is nonsense but actually if we we’re going to examine it you will learn lots of things. They can make you laugh and sometimes cry….just like in reality

Thursday, September 9, 2010

circle of thoughts: Signs

circle of thoughts: Signs: "Did you watch the movies like SERENDIPITY and FOOLS RUSH IN? The two movies are all about signs. Some people believe in it. They asked God ..."

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


10. Can you keep a Secret? By Sophie Kinsella. (I end up myself laughing and forget that I am working)

9. Stars by Daniel Steel (I cried in the part that her father died and she felt she got nothing. But most of all I wish her love story will be like mine that time)

8. Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho (Don’t know how to explain but the book will teach you about many things.)

7. Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker. (I like when he said that “a master is once a disaster”)

6. I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You (Gallagher Girls) by Ally Carter (This book is for teens but I really like it. It’s all about spy thing.)

5. Tuesday Morrie by Mitch Albom (The book taught me about letting go, life, love and everything.)

4. Summer House by Jude deveraux ( I love this book because I also want to go back in the time that I did wrong decisions.)

3. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (Like like the book because it’s all about reaching for our dreams.)

2. A Place Called Here by Cecelia Ahern (This book is all about reality of life. Love this.)

1.Twilight Saga by Stephanie Meyer (There something in this books that you feel that you want to finish it to know what will happen and when you finally finished the four books you will wish that you didn’t finished it at all)


Have you watched the movies like SERENDIPITY and FOOLS RUSH IN? The two movies are all about signs.
Some people believe in it. They asked God for signs in every decision that they have to make. I also believe in it. There are times in my life that I depend on the signs that He will give me. But sometimes the signs are blurred or maybe it is because God wants us to decide for our own self. Sometimes He let us choose of the things that we have to do because God always gives options.
I remember that I asked God to send me someone who will color up my dull life during my first two months on my first job after college. It was a very sincere prayer in a church. God sent two persons. I didn’t know which one to choose. Will it be the first one who came or the last one? I chose the latter. Good choice…. But only for a while….. It is because good things never last….
Then my life becomes so cruel. The virus of pain is starting to kill me. The malignant failure has come to take my life to the point that I’m losing even the thread of hope and faith that I have. I asked for a sign if there will be a chance for me and him. I told Him that if one of my students will give me flower then the answer will be yes. The moment I prayed I didn’t think of specific flower but in my mind it looks like red roses. Before the end of the day my very thin student gave me red roses but come think of it…. It’s not fresh but a plastic one. The sign seems so blurred to me because I forgot to tell God what kind of flowers I want to see.
A spark of light is starting to scatter one time. I tried to go near it to feel it again to feel the heat that it can bring me and to revive me from dying. I thought that if I wouldn’t touch it for the last time I will die regretting that I didn’t try. The moment of embracing the burning spark a few cells of me turns to life. I didn’t see any hope of having that light forever but a chance to have life again even for a seconds. Until I find myself burning from the pain that it brought me. I was terrified. The air that I breathe is starting to vanish…. And for one more time…. I asked God to send me someone to revive me from dying. He did. He sent an angel. Angel that helps me cures my broken wings……

Macau, a Home Away From Home (part 3)

Lastly you know what I love most about the place? It is the friends I met there. Yeah! My colleagues are very nice to us, we always went outside to do barbecue in the park. They roast lots of foods. Wow! I love the sausages, meat, even marshmallows…. They roast it. I love playing basketball with them thinking I might lose weight. They play so good. We always go to karaoke and sing dozens of songs while drinking and playing the dice thing. I really don’t know the name of the game but it’s all about guessing the numbers and if you lose you have to drink.
They became my family there. I love them so much and miss them. I remember Hei. We we’re talking about the rent of the house in Macau. He’s not that good in English but I like him because he still tries to talk to me in English. He said that it is cheap to rent an old hold house in Macau but the “ young house” is very expensive. Woah! I really used all the stopping power I have just to stop myself from laughing. You know why? Because if they hear you saying the wrong English or pronunciations, they won’t laugh at you, unlike here in the Philippines. I miss them so much……

Macau, a Home Away From Home (part 2)

I always complain things about that place but as I spend time with the place… I start to fell in love with it. It is a very simple place to live with. I still remember that we only eat McDonalds because their crew can speak English and their food is cheap. I love their burgers except that they don’t have spaghetti and rice. In their KFC, rice is not included in their meal, you need to order it separately. That was my first and last time to order rice because whiles we we’re eating it I realized that I can buy one and a half kilos of rice in the Philippines equivalent to their one cup of rice. Then as we continue living there we discovered things. We discovered the Thai restaurant that serves good food (take note they have English translation of their menu).
I love buying things in their grocery. It’s cheap but they don’t sell shampoo in a sachet that’s why if you buy a shampoo not good for your hair….You have to suffer for almost a couple of months They also sell lots of fruits. I love their fruits so much. It is cheap and fresh. I remember that there is one fruit stall where we prohibit ourselves from touching it. Because she will say thing in a mad way that in our comprehension we have no choice but to buy it or else you will die… Hahahaaha. I love seeing their culture and the way they live. Old people there are so sweet with each other. They walk at night, play badminton and do some exercise.

Macau, a Home Away From Home (part 1)

There is no place as home. It is a place that you are very much comfortable. Most of the time we miss our home when we a far from it. I remember during my first time to go in foreign land. I feel excited that you will go out of the country for the first time in my life. Guess what? My excitement fades the very first moment I rode the bus. The sound from a recorded voice telling the next bus stop in a language that I can’t understand is so annoying. Then we went to a restaurant to eat and everything was written in Chinese character thank God there was a picture for me to be able to pick the food that I am capable of swallowing. (As time passes by my friend and I discovered few restaurant that serves good food with English translation of the food. My first impression is not good. Everything feels so irritating. I don’t know why. Then the first time I went outside with our HR is so tiring. You know why? I didn’t know that in Macau you have to walk far and so fast. Unfortunately I was wearing my step in with 2 inches heels. I really feel tired most of all I can’t walk faster than they do. That’s why when I came to the Philippines I always complain to Bri that he walks so slow. Of course they are all wearing rubber shoes including my co-filipino workers who have been there for almost couple of months.
I don’t find there sea beautiful. I really love seas. Don’t know why but every time I look at it I feel so peaceful. Their sea is not that beautiful until one day I saw it so beautiful to the point that you can’t stop yourself on staring at it. I started to appreciate it that every time our shuttle bus passing that part I feel excited of how the water will will look like for that day. Then I started to appreciate the long bridge. The bridge has something that you feel like you’re flying to the sky. I used to dream of seeing the golden bridge. I love that view that I seen from a movie. But that bridge of Macau is also different. I know from that moment that when my contracts end the first thing I will miss is that bridge. It is just like I become part of it because everyday I have to pass him.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Just in the Nick of Time

Sometimes God send us an angel during the time that we really need them most. It can be in a form of a friend or a person you didn’t know that will stop by and help you in a way that you didn’t notice it.
Here are some of the few stories that I experienced.
1. It was time for me to go to work. The water on the street is high because of the rain. I really don’t know how to get out of that subdivision without making my stockings wet. I glance at my wristwatch and think that I will be late. I needed something to ride on. There was no tricycle. Just in a nick of time a man in a sidecar came. I ask him if he can help me. Then he agrees and helps me get out of the road. He didn’t ask me to pay him. I am really grateful that he came and thankful for that.
2. When I was in Macau I used to go out during my rest day. Since I am new to the place my friend told me to ride the bus no. 5 to get there and ride the same no. of bus to get home. Take note I didn’t know that I have to ride that no. in the same bus stop when I reach the place. I was in the other side of the road and I feel so lazy of walking to the other side. I told myself that maybe I can ride bus in that bust stop which I really did. As the trip goes on, panic starts to invade my happy mood because I’m not familiar with the place where the bus is heading to. I calm myself and try to convince myself that I did the right thing. Unfortunately all the confidence that I have gradually disappears when all the passengers run out and the only person left was me. I feel scared when we stop in a place that I don’t know. There are lots of buses there but only few people. It’s near the seaside. It’s just like an open space where you can see few people. And then Sinsang ( cantose term for Mr.) shouted at me in a language I’m not capable of comprehending. To my horror I step out of the bus and tried to talk to people there on how to go to Portas. The sad thing is ever driver there even the security guard don’t know how to speak English. I walk trying to look for a Filipino who can help me. But I haven’t found any. Just when I was about to lose my tons of hope I saw a garbage man. He looks like Kano, I asked him in English about the direction and to my surprise he answers me in tagalong. A Filipino sent by God….hehehehe

I always believe that God always send me an angel. He sent me lots of person that I consider an angel. Just like Erlyn, she is one of a friend that I really appreciate a lot. I really think that I ruined our happy moment with her, Edison, Jay and Au but that I have to leave them. The there was Veron and Monique….. A friend that really make my day complete and happy…. There are lots of people that I don’t have to mention, they might not know how I really appreciate them even though I didn’t mention it to them. So for those people who became my angel…. Thank you… Most of all thanks God

Monday, September 6, 2010


Some will think that it is the hardest word to say. I believed it is. On the contrary goodbye is the door for a new world, for a new learning, for a new friend and most of all for the new opportunity. Let me tell you some stories of goodbyes.
• “Sad Goodbye” It is when you became friend with your colleagues. You go out with them, share their stories, jokes with them and sometimes cry with them. Day by day you didn’t realize that as day passes by you become a part of them. Sometimes you will not notice that they are already part of you. Then you wake up one day that for some reason you have to quit and bid goodbye to them. Some sort of sad goodbyes that will make you cry…. Know why? Because you know that in many aspects you became happy because of them. That the moment that you spend with them you we’re happy and you forget your sorrow for a while. It’s all about missing them…. It’s not because their present is not worthy of staying but because there are some part of you that want to explore, you want to find yourself and most of all to look for the things that will complete the missing piece of the career that you wanted.
• “Sadder Goodbye” This is sadder than the first one. It is when you became part of one place. Feel comfortable with it. You love your friends there and think that you will enjoy your life staying with them… But then the storms come that all of you need to say goodbye. It is saying goodbye because you have no choice. Because no matter you want to stay still…. You can’t…..
• “Saddest Goodbye” I would say that this is really hard to do. It’s hard to say goodbye to the person you love most and most of all to the memories that both of you shared. It’s hard to let go and say goodbye to a relationship that you really think make your life complete. That makes your life so happy. How many people urge their selves just to still hold on for a person they think worth fighting for? Then in some point of their life they have to say goodbye… You know why? Because goodbye is the only key for them to be save from drowning into the river of nowhere. It is sadder than sad…yet it is the goodbye that might lead you to the new you that might open for a new opportunity to fall in love again.
Sometimes we really have to say goodbye, it may be to a place, to a friend, to the memories and to a person you loved….. but that’s what life is…… Full of goodbyes…… but full of hellos….