Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Have you watched the movies like SERENDIPITY and FOOLS RUSH IN? The two movies are all about signs.
Some people believe in it. They asked God for signs in every decision that they have to make. I also believe in it. There are times in my life that I depend on the signs that He will give me. But sometimes the signs are blurred or maybe it is because God wants us to decide for our own self. Sometimes He let us choose of the things that we have to do because God always gives options.
I remember that I asked God to send me someone who will color up my dull life during my first two months on my first job after college. It was a very sincere prayer in a church. God sent two persons. I didn’t know which one to choose. Will it be the first one who came or the last one? I chose the latter. Good choice…. But only for a while….. It is because good things never last….
Then my life becomes so cruel. The virus of pain is starting to kill me. The malignant failure has come to take my life to the point that I’m losing even the thread of hope and faith that I have. I asked for a sign if there will be a chance for me and him. I told Him that if one of my students will give me flower then the answer will be yes. The moment I prayed I didn’t think of specific flower but in my mind it looks like red roses. Before the end of the day my very thin student gave me red roses but come think of it…. It’s not fresh but a plastic one. The sign seems so blurred to me because I forgot to tell God what kind of flowers I want to see.
A spark of light is starting to scatter one time. I tried to go near it to feel it again to feel the heat that it can bring me and to revive me from dying. I thought that if I wouldn’t touch it for the last time I will die regretting that I didn’t try. The moment of embracing the burning spark a few cells of me turns to life. I didn’t see any hope of having that light forever but a chance to have life again even for a seconds. Until I find myself burning from the pain that it brought me. I was terrified. The air that I breathe is starting to vanish…. And for one more time…. I asked God to send me someone to revive me from dying. He did. He sent an angel. Angel that helps me cures my broken wings……

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